1. What were you afraid of as a child?
i was completely afraid of the dark. i used to fall asleep with the hall light on, or i’d sleep with the covers over my head no matter how difficult breathing was. i was afraid of seeing visions. the traveling evangelists who visited my crazy de facto pentecostal church used to tell stories about the demons they saw at the foot of their bed or the vision of the holy spirit hovering above them at night. my mom also told me once how she saw a ball of light floating above her waterbed, making the water inside undulate. in my fearful faithfulness, i’d pray to god every night not to send me any visions.

2. When have you been most courageous?
i don’t feel like i’ve ever been particularly courageous. in retrospect, i can’t believe some of the things i’ve done (quit jobs and moved across the country on a whim, backpacked civil war-ravaged Guatemala with only my girlfriend and a skeleton plan, etc.), but i can’t think of any isolated moment of courage.

3. What sound most disturbs you?
a fork squealing across a plate.

4. What is the greatest amount of physical pain you’ve been in?
post-surgery #2 on a broken tibial plateau. the good folks at St. Peter’s in Albany managed to totally fuck up the first surgery, drilling the screws in crooked and patching me up with staples, so the better folks at St. Vincent’s in Bridgeport had to go in again, take out all the hardware, and redo it all. when i woke up from the revision, my leg was in a machine that rocked it back and forth to keep the knee joint from stiffening, and every change of direction felt like a dozen dull knives working from the inside of my joint out. it was more painful than the initial shattering of the bone.

5. What’s your biggest fear for your children?
i don’t have children, so i’m guessing i don’t know the visceral concern, the worst-case scenario paranoia, most parents feel for them. right now, my concerns for a new generation are broader: global warming, the prepackaged chemicals and preservatives grocery chains call food, the real and exaggerated fear of terrorism (Islamic fundamentalist and otherwise), the disconnect from the natural world that technology fosters.

6. What is the hardest physical challenge you’ve achieved?
first week of three practices a day (conditioning–five-mile runs and suicides on the beach, technical–moving with a ball for two hours, scrimmage–two hours of up and down the field) during college preseason for soccer. never threw up once, which is more than i can say for 60% of my teammates.

7. Which do you prefer: Mountains or oceans/big water?
my proximity to Long Island Sound and the Atlantic has made me love the water. i love standing waist deep in the the giant ocean, the tugs of so many currents on top of each other pulling me in different directions. i grew up in mountainland, so i suppose i take them for granted.

8. What is the one thing you do for yourself that helps you keep everything together?
drink coffee every morning.

9. Ever had a close relative or friend with cancer?
my great-grandpa died of prostate cancer, my great-grandma died of lung cancer, and my aunt’s breast cancer has been in remission for five months.

10. What are the things your friends count on you for?
most of my friends have faded into the distance or coupledome, so i don’t see most of them much anymore. but i’m always there to listen and tell it like i see it. i’m also around for jogs, tea and moving assistance.

11. What is the best part of being in a committed relationship?
waking up next to her. coming home every evening to someone you’ve been looking forward to seeing all day. swaying. hugging. making dinner. going to sleep with her.

12. What is the hardest part of being in a committed relationship?
compromising inherent differences.

13. Winter or Summer ? Why?
summer. being outside, running through tree tunnels and jumping into salty water. i love a car too hot with sun. windows open. i feel disconnected in the winter.

14. Have you ever been in a school-yard fight? Why and what happened?
i’ve never been in a physical fight.

15. Why blog?
what can i say, i love writing for an audience. knowing someone out there is reading keeps me to motivated to write.

16. Did you learn about sex, and/or sex safety from your parents?
god, no. they were proud i was a virgin when i graduated high school. if they (i?) only knew.

17. How do you plan to talk to your kids about sex and/or sex safety?
i just hope i’m able to be honest with my kids, answering whatever questions they have. i figure if i set an honest, open tone from the beginning, the birds and the bees talk will come when it needs to.

18. What are you most thankful for this year?
i’m grateful for everything in my life.